Loren Connors

Book 31.

A Book (2003)

A promotional book.

i lied.  just one more note tonight.

no secrets.  just some thoughts i wanted to tell you.  i don’t know why.  lately, i walk around and keep looking up at the trees and the leaves and the sky.  this autumn is really the prettiest i have ever seen. i never noticed the trees so much, or the many beautiful colors of the leaves.  somehow they seem to surround me with their joy.  or maybe, most likely, it is because i feel a happiness inside that i really want to look at these things and take pictures, and make videos of them.  i want to see them, i want to share them.  maybe it is because i got older.  or maybe because,

((the above was written not so long ago, on an early winter’s evening.   and this book was made on the occasion of?  no reason, really.  just something i had been meaning to do for a while now.  from my mostly private and sometimes public collection, i’ve assembled a little retrospective of sorts.  among these: an invitation to my 30th birthday party, a snap of a lucky bamboo tossed in the trash but which looked more beautiful than any flower arrangement i had ever seen, pictures from my first solo show at the art fiend foundation (it was to be my father’s 55th birthday) and it was a great night all my friends showed up and it was the start of something new, my home at varying times of the day when the sun bathes the space with pink red colour and also when the darkness returns to breathe, a small party with my close friends at hand, thirty two books from my own press, 104 sketchbooks kept like a diary (123 at the time of this writing), the third book i made which selects some of the best sketches/jottings at the time (seems years and years ago now), a reworking of a children’s book from communist china  rendered apolitical, early examples of t-shirts made out of boredom (not desire), scrapbooking of a late neighbor couple’s wartime albums, lead pencil workings of themes of despair and loss, ghostlike impressions of shanghainese film starlets from the 1930s and 40s, a close friend and her smile, two seated moments from a concert in berlin, old photos rescued from the flea market and brought back to life with new colors, remakes of old vinyl record covers now no longer dated, a valentines forget me not i miss you but you knew that already didn’t you?, this year’s xmas card (to be sent in a few days via email), new versions of movie booklets handed out in taiwan to my grandaunt and uncle, chinatown new year’s postings amidst the hustle and bustle of the parade, a forgotten video of europe screen-captured and remembered and forgotten just as quickly again, i-zone my favorite camera my favorite thoughts my dreams in an instant i can see them, against a pink backdrop all 80s the sea the beach the sun, my first book the first time i showed this side of me to the world outside, my most recent book which brought the innocence and trust of my childhood back to me (girl’s sunshine), a may flowers collage of a best friend’s visit to the city, a 53 second video made from mostly still images and now recaptured in still, coney island july four fireworks frozen in time double and triple exposed, ‘now is forever’, (i put it over my heart, and i), calm photos and quiet surrender.  these images in this book, gathered together like old and new friends.)) 

this is dedicated to everyone who i love and respect.